I just feel a sudden surge of emo when I completed any job application just now.. just beating the deadline of 12am.. My friend at the other end of msn was rushing for it as well, And almost failed to make the deadlines..
Out of a sudden, I just feel very sad. Why are we stressing up so hard all over the application forms and be fighting with almost everyone in the world to get a job in London when we can easily get one decent job if we return home? Why?? Because we all know the life too well back home?
I feel pathetic for my own mentality for giving up on my own country, and would rather stay in people's place and do whatever I can to get a job here.. But I can't help it.. I don't know why, but I am just reluctant to return.
YC asked me last night why don't I start off locally, instead of overseas where I may be looked down because I am not native?? Her words didn't really strike me by then, but it strikes me hard now.
Jo said we are just the equivalent of 2nd class citizens in UK, but we are neither first class citizen in our own country. Jo's theory was interesting: We are 2:1 Second Upper Class citizen in msia and UK, 2:2. We are second class anyway.. Just that perhaps more stuffs can be done easily in Msia if you have the power and the money. Life is easier for you there because corruption exists, yet it is the root to all the obstacles that pull the country off the track of becoming a vibrant developed country.
I told Jayne, I want to excel in my life, but I don't know how. I am just following whatever paths that are in front of me, and hoping to see the light (get a job offer) at the end of it. What if I don't see the light? Will I build a lamp post when I see darkness? No I wont. I will turn back and go on with another paths.
Perhaps I will never see a light at the end of all the paths I tried, then I will start considering building a lamp post myself. But will it be too late then? Yes it is..
I WANT TO EXCEL IN MY LIFE. Jayne told me to bear that in mind whenever I do any decisions. Yes Jayne. Thanks for telling me that.
And hopefully I see a light at the end of the path soon.
Or I will start building a lamp post equipped with all the tools before walking into that path......
SoNy ericsSon | Once upon a TiMe
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It has been so Long that I have lost count of the tiMe
time flies~~~
Once upon a tiMe, hitoMi invaded UCSI...
many thanks to Jloi here to seludup me in LOL...
13 hours ago
